


Little White Lies

by thesatanistauthor



Category: Voltron Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, Klangst (?), Lance Doubts Himself, Lance hates himself, Langst, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Surprise its depressing, appreciate lance 2k17, klance is life, mentions of selfharm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 19:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11168769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesatanistauthor/pseuds/thesatanistauthor
Summary: Lance has been labelled as the happy, humourous person of the group. He keeps up a happy facade until one day, he breaks down. Keith is the only one who can save him now.





	Little White Lies

**Author's Note:**

> This involves mentions of suicide and selfharm so please don't read this is you get triggered by it.

Keeping up a happy act when deep down you're crumbling isn't an easy job, but for some reason Lance was all too good at it. It was almost like he'd sone this before, which was the terrifying part. No one saw how Lance really was, how he was at night when everyone else was asleep. No one noticed the scars on his arms from the times he'd caused himseld harm. No one noticed he ate less and less, and no one noticed when he dropped weight at an unhealthy speed. No one saw what he did to himself to punish himself for being such a burden to his friends. No one heard him when he cried at night, no one saw the dried tears on his cheeks in the morning. Quite frankly, it seemed that nobody even remotely cared.

Yet, despite all of this, Lance continued to live his life as the happy, humourous boy of the college. Everyone knew him for his jokes, how he was always smiling and cheering people up, no matter where he was or where he went.

His small group of friends loved him dearly, but none of them would have ever guessed that Lance was slowly losing his battle with his mind. Pidge and Hunk were too invested in their studies to notice anything else going on around them. Shiro was clueless a lot of the time, and unless the emotion was really obvious, he wouldn't be able to decipher how someone was feeling. Keith and Lance never really got along, despite the fact they both had major feelings for each other. Keith didn't know how to react to such a feeling, as he had never experienced it before, so it came out through anger. Lance denied himself of anything that may help him, or cheer him up, and beat himself up about it all day, every day.

"Hey, where is Lance? He's usually with us by now." Pidge spoke up, tucking her hair behind her ear with a concerned frown. The rest of the group looked up from whatever they were doing, only to realise that Pidge was right, Lance wasn't here. No one had even noticed.

"I thought it seemed oddly quiet." Shiro added in, closing his laptop lip and shoving it in his bag, leaning back against the chair he was sat in. The room was empty apart from the four of them, Pidge had managed to snatch the room up for lunch. She didn't care it was a science room; the others weren't so thrilled.

"He know's we are in here, right?" Hunk asked, rubbing the back of neck as he questioned whether Lance knew where his friends were.

"Yes, I texted him and said we were. Maybe someone should go and find him? It's not like-" Pidge was interrupted when the door of the classroom swung open.

"Sorry guys, someone stopped me to ask about what happened in class!" Lance burst through the door, out of breath. It was obvious he had rushed to get here, and he looked exhausted. He wobbled over to the table they were gathered around and pulled up a stool. The others looked at him with concern ridden faces.

"Lance, are you okay?" Shiro asked, resting his arms on the table as he raised a brow. Lance was still short of breath, he felt like he might faint. The world around him felt strange, and he couldn't respond to Shiro. Everything was a blur, and before he could answer he's blacked out.

When he woke up everyone was gathered around him, shaking him and calling out his name. Keith was knelt beside him, Lance's head rested in his lap. The look of utter worry on his face was stange to Lance; he thought Keith hated him. He was still too dazed tk figure out, but everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief when he blinked open his eyes and groaned, a pounding pain at the back of his head.

"Jesus Lance, don't scare us like that! I thought you died!" Hunk rubbed his head, leaning back against the leg of the desk, before resting his hand on his chest. "I thought you were leaving us, man."

"Lance, seriously, are you okay?" Shiro asked, helping his friend sit up, Keith's hand rested on his arm and back to keep him from falling back down.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just hot." Lance forced a smile; he knew that was somewhat of a lie. He was boiling, but taking off his jacket would only reveal the scars, cuts and burns littering his tanned arms. He was tired; he hadn't slept more than 10 hours in the past week. He'd barely eaten or drank, which really didn't help his situation.

"Take your jacket off." Keith spoke up, moving his hands to the top of Lance's jacket, starting to pull the clothing from Lance's shoulders. Lance freaked at this and pulled the jacket around him tighting, tugging it from Keith's grip. Everyone's concerns rose at this action.

"Lance." Pidge's tone was demanding, like either he would take the jacket off himself, or everyone would hold him down and do it for him.

"No!" He yelled, hugging the material of his jacket around his body tighter, pulling his knees up to his chest. Everyone knew he had an attachment to that jacket he wore; it'd had been his older brothers before he had passed away, and there wasn't a day Lance didn't have it with him. It reminded him of his family, home, safety. No one could take it from him.

"Jesus Christ Lance, stop being so difficult! I give up with you!" Pidge spoke in a fit of anger, standing up from where she was knelt and walking over to her seat, packing her stuff into her bag. One by one the rest of the group followed her, leaving Lance to sit on the ground. His mind was racing with thought after thought, his head telling him all sorts of terrible things.

Your friends hate you. They tolerate you because they feel sorry for you. They want you dead. They don't care. You're a burden to them. You're annoying. You're dumb. You're stupid. You're useless. You're worthless. Just end it all. Do it now.

Lance pulled himself up from the floor and leant against the table for support, his head still a bit whoozy. He didn't realise tears were streaming down his cheeks until they hit his hand. Lance had snapped, Pidge's words finally cutting the line. Holding back was not an option any longer, everything was about to be spilled. Lance slammed his hand down on the table, catching the attention of the group about to exit the class. They all turned, confusion washing over them as they saw the state Lance was in, tears staining his skin, looking absolutely distraught.

"I get it! I get it, guys! I'm annoying, I'm worthless! You don't have to pretend to care anymore. You just all feel sorry for me, I know it. I tried my hardest but I can't keep this up anymore! I'm broken!" Lance screamed, the only look on the faces of his friends that of utter shock. "Nothing I do is right! Everything goes wrong for me and I can't keep up this happy act anymore! It has ruined me. It has ruined us. I failed everyone, my friends, my family, my teachers, my college mates. I get it! I'm a failure!"

"Lance, calm down." Pidge raised a brow, taking a cautious step towards her hysterical friend.

"No! I will not calm down! I'm just a useless burden who deserves nothing but misery and a slow, painful death! I understand that already, my head tells me every single day that I deserve nothing good. It tells me that I'm fat, that I deserve pain, that I should just end it all. At this point in time, it seems like the only thing that could go right in my life." The smile on his face struck a chord in Shiro, Lance shouldn't be grinning at such thoughts as suicide. He too took a step forward, dropping his bag down from his shoulder.

"Lance, buddy, we never even knew. We never noticed." Perhaps not the best words to say to someone having a mental break down right in front of you.

Lance's breath hitched in his throat, feeling like a rock has just landed on his chets and crushed him.

"Of course you never noticed. No one did. No one cared enough to notice." His voice was eerily calm as he spoke, and it was then that it hit everyone that, maybe, Lance was right?

"Of course we care, Lance. We all do." Hunk had now stepped forward to join Pidge and Shiro, his voice wobbly as he tried to hold back tears himself. Seeing his best friend in such a horrid and fragile state hit close to home, and he was scared. No, scared wasn't the right word for it. Terrified.

"Keith doesn't ." Lance mumbled, his voice hoarse from screaming at his friends. Everyone turned around to face Keith, who stood there blank faced, hand on his bag strap as he glanced from one person to another. Lance sniffled and wiped at his eyes and nose with his sleeve. Keith ket out a defeated sigh and dropped his bag down on the floor, his head falling so he didn't have to see the looks he was getting from everyone.

"I didn't mean any of it." Keith spoke, hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets as he kept his head low, scuffing the ground with his boots, unable to look anyone in the eye.

"Really? It didn't feel that way." Lance's tone was cold and sharp, and if it had been a weapon it would have easily sliced theough Keith and left him for dead.

"Lance, I can explain-"

"I need some time alone." That was all he said before he stormed out the room, leaving everyone to stand there in utter disbelief.

The bell rang to signal the end of lunch, and the four of them grabbed their bags and headed to their classes. Infact, they all had the same class that afternoon; astrology. They sat at their usual table together, completely silent as the rest of the students poured into class, chatting and laughing and yelling. Soon after the teacher arrived, and everyone settled into a respectful silence.

Keith had been affected most by Lance's words. Had he really hurt him that much and never even realised it? What made it worse is that Keith was stupidly head over heels for this boy, and yet all he could do was hurt him. All he wanted was to be able to hold him and comfort him and tell him that everything would be okay eventually, that he was there to support him through it, no matter how long it took.

"Alright class, today we're going to be learning more about other planets! See which ones are the most dangerous, see which ones have the most potential to hold life!" Coran had never gone by his last name as a teacher, he prefered students to use his first name so they saw him as more of a friend than a teacher. He was a weird guy, but everyone truly loved him at the end of the day.

Keith was zoned out completely and heard nothing that anyone was saying. He could hear distant mumbles as his mind wondered. It must've been half an hour before skmething snapped him back into this sick reality of life. The classroom door slammed open and a kid from another class appeared, catching everyones attention immediately.

"Yo, some crazy shit is going down at the boys dorm! Some guy has gone batshit crazy!" They guy laughed, and everyone got up from their seagmts and followed him, chatter rising up between everyone as they rushed to see what all the drama was about. The group looked at each other before rushing out as fast as their legs could carry them, weaving in and out between the crowd, even knocking a few in the process. Keith raced ahead of everyone, he knew exactly who this 'crazy guy' was and he needed to get there and fast, other wise he would never forgive himself for it. It had just began to gently rain outside, but no one cared. As they rounded the corner to the boys dorms, they saw a crowd of people looking up and talking between themselves, all pointing and staring. The group of friends looked up and, to their absolute horror, Lance was stood at the top of the building. Keith rushed forward with no hesitation and ran through the doors kf the building, sprinting up the stairs as fast as his legs would allow him. He hurt, he hurt so much, but he wouldn't stop. He needed to get Lance down and save him. He wasn't about to let him die. The rest of the group stayed with the other students, just hoping and praying that Keith would be able to save him this time around.

Eventually Keith made it to the roof, his legs throbbing and aching from climbing so many stairs to reach the top. Lance whipped around and turned to face Keith at the sound of the door opening, his tears mixed with the rain drops on his face. They just looked at each other for a brief second, Keith silently begging Lance to come down with him, Lance silently refusing and protesting.

"Lance, Lance please. Come down with me. This isn't worth it." Keith begged, his hair sticking to his face as it increasingly became more damp from the falling rain. Lance shook his head and hugged himself, his eyes red and puffy from crying.

"No, Keith. This is what needs to be done." Lance protested, inching closer towards the edge of the building. Keith instinctively took a step closer, ready to lunge forward and grab Lance if he needed. The rain seemed to fall harder and harder, and he could hear the murmurs from the people down below.

"No, you're wrong. This isn't the solution! Lance, we are all willing to help you! I promise you!" Keith was begging at this point, he was terrified. If Lance jumped, it'd be his fault, and his alone. Would he be enough to stop Lance from taking his own life?

"Why are you up here?" Lance sniffed, dropping his arms to the side, his head tilting to the side like a confused puppy dog. Keith didn't have an answer suitable for this situation right now.

"Because I care. I care so so much about you." Silence fell between the two, Lance lowering his head at Keith's confession. Keith could see Lances hands were shaking by his side as he pondered.

"You do?"

"Yes, I do. So much more than you believe Lance. God, this isn't the right time to say this Lance but I'm in love with you. I realky am. I don't know how else to put it or express it." Keith blurted out, not knowing what else to sag. It was cliche for sure, and stupid for him to say in the heat of a moment.

Lance was silent, but the look on his face said it all. He was confused, scared, lonely. All he wanted was to be loved by someone. This boy stood on the edge of a building was nothing but a broken toy, and with a little bit of help he could be mended again. Keith was ready to do that.

"You don't care. No one does!" Lance shouted, taking another step towards the edge. The people on the ground all gasped, some screaming for him not to. Keith held his breath as he stared at Lance, before reaching a shaky hand out towards him.

"Take my hand, Lance. I'm here for you. So is everyone else. We'll help mend you, I promise. Think about your family, your brothers and sisters. They love and need you here in this world. They need that person to look up to. We all care for you so much Lance. Please, I'm begging you. Take my hand and come down with me," Keith sucked in a shaky breath as he paused, watching as Lance hesitated to lift his hand to grab Keith's. "I'll be there for you, on your good and bad days. I'll be there to pick you up and patch you up. I'll be there to hold you and comfort you whenever you need it, if you let me."

Another few precious seconds passed, with no words or movement from either. Lance eventually lifted his hand from his side and grasped Keith's, the other boy managing to pull him from the ledge and into his arms, where they both collapsed on the soaking rooftop floor in a fit of tears. People down below cheered and they could hear people crying from relief, knowing that Lance was safe now, that he had been tempted down by someone. A saviour. Lance could do nothing but cry his broken heart out into Keith's chest. The two boys held each other close and tight as they cried; Keith was Lance's lifeline at the moment, but he didn't care. The embrace was broken when Keith pulled back and carefully cupped Lance's cheeks in his hands, a sad yet proud smile overtaking the frown. Keith sued his thumbs to wipe away the tears and raindrops from underneath Lance's puffy blue eyes. The two shared a thankfuk laugh, before Keith closed the gap between them, the two sharing a sweet and desperate kiss. The amount of emotion that was put into this kiss was like no other, and neither wanted it to end.

"I'm here, Lance. I'm here now, it's all okay." Keith whispered as they pulled apart, his hands still resting on Lance's soaked cheeks. The rain was still falling around them and they were borh soaked from head to toe, their hair and clothes sticking to them.

"I was so scared, so lost." Lance muttered, his grip tight on Keith's arms, not wanting to let go, scared that he may fall.

"I know, but it's all okay now. I got you." Keith let himself smile, and for the first time in months, Lance genuinely smiled back at him, with a love and thankfulness Keith simply couldn't describe.

"Thank you, thank you Keith. I won't do it again, I promise." Lance blurted out, causing Keith to let out a quiet, sad chuckle.

"Let's go back, yeah? I'll get you cleaned up."

****

It took a while, but Lance and Keith talked and cleaned themselves up. They talked about their feelings for one another, and decided that they would try dating and see where it took them. Lance told Keith everything; from the self harm, to suicidal thoughts, to denying himself of food and water to punish himself. It broke Keith's heart to know Lance had been doing all this and no one had taken a second glance at it. It was an emotional rollercoaster, but eventually everything was figured out. Keith cleaned up the fresh wounds on Lance's arms, making sure they were clean and properly bandaged to reduce scaring. He would do anything to keep Lance safe.

A while later, the rest of the group came to visit him, and all piled him into a massive hug. It felt wonderful, and for once, Lance felt that he was truly loved by everyone.

It would take some time, but Lance would get better. He knew he would, and so did everyone around him. Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, and Keith.

Keith, his actual saviour. He could never thank him enough for tempting him down feom that ledge. Months later he still thanked him for that day. Months later Keith still reminded him that it was okay, and that he wouldn't have just left him to die.

And eventually, Lance realised he wasn't alone, and that it was okay not to be okay. 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this whilst listening to the Titanic OST and it killed me big time.


End file.
